UNTITLED CHAD DARNELL PROJECT

World AIDS Day

Monday is WORLD AIDS DAY.

It's the day we remember those we have lost, honor those who work to develop drugs and cures for those affected by AIDS and raise awareness to the disease that has affected millions of people.

It's bitter sweet for me.  Yesterday would have been my second to last training run.  I slept in, but got up in time to meet my group as they ran in the last of the eight miles in Griffith Park.  Ryan and I went to Paty's afterward for breakfast.

This time next Sunday I will be still recovering from surgery and four days later, everyone will be boarding a plane to Honolulu.

Because of so many of you, I was able to raise over $3,300 for AIDS Project Los Angeles this year.  And earlier this year, I raised over $4,000 for The AIDS Lifecycle.  Not to mention the $1,000 raised for Bowling for Angels.

That's a lot of money for AIDS/ HIV.  So for all that I'm going through and all that I'm going to miss on December 14th, I can at least celebrate World AIDS Day knowing that I DID SOMETHING.

I think I'm done with my long-term, distance events for AIDS/ HIV for now.  After running four marathons (and training for one that I won't complete) and a six month training session to ride a bike from San Francisco to Los Angeles, I'm hanging up my AIDS Marathon singlets.

Of course I'm going remain involved with Project Angel Food, but next year if I do any event, it will be doing The Lance Armstrong Livestrong team for the New York City Marathon.

Things to Do in Boston When You're Dead (and 7 miles)

I feel a ba-billion times better.  I am currently sitting in my suite at the Hotel Commonwealth, where I will dread checking out of tomorrow.  I want to believe heaven is like the Hotel Commonwealth.  More on that later.

THE LITTLE DEATH died a quick one.  It went out for the week and everyone quickly passed.  All I was hearing from my manager was, "so and so passed.  Have to run.  Call you back later."  And in this town when they don't call you back, you're dead.

So naturally my mind went to the dark place.  Why did I move out here to write?   Why am I continuing to shoot myself in the face time and time and time again.  It's been almost three years to the date I quit casting to write.  How long are you supposed to hold on to a ridiculous dream.  Am I going to be the person whose friends are standing around the side of a Runyan Canyon with my ashes going, "wow.  He really should have stayed in casting.  Sure he would have been dead a lot sooner, but at least there would have been money for us to all fight over.  But oh, no.  He wanted to be 'a writer.'  He wanted to 'make up stories for a living.'"

I then imagine everyone spitting into their little bag of my ashes before tossing them into the air.

I contemplated moving.  San Francisco?  New York?  Iraq?  Back to Atlanta?  No clue as to what I would do.  It would have to be nothing related to the entertainment industry.  I considered working for a coroners office.  No reason as to why.  At least the people I would be working with wouldn't judge me or talk back to me.  I wouldn't have to wonder why THEY aren't returning my phone calls.  And the best part is, I would be cutting them open and chopping in their chest cavities with garden shears, so talk about a stress reliever.

Oh, it was a dark place.

And there was a lot of stress with the documentary.  Our director's brother died.  Amazing story about him.  CLICK HERE TO READ IT.  So I was left to schedule and plan the entire 18 day shoot.  The schedule is planned to the minute - so we can't be late for anything.

We're in 8 cities in 18 days. 

So we left for San Francisco.  Great first two days of shooting.  I took the red eye to Boston.  I got to carry a hundred pounds of lighting equipment and a hundred pounds of other bags a mile, because my plane was not at terminal one, but terminal three.  My arms and chest are beyond beat.

I slept on the plane.  But if you've read my blog for a while, you know what that means.  What was in the seat right in front of me?  Come on, it wouldn't be a cross country flight, unless it was there.  Let's all say it together...

Rosemary's Baby.

Fortunately, I was able to pass out again every time I woke up.  Child screamed and cried the entire flight from what I was told by the passengers around me.  No one could figure out how I slept through it.

After an hour at the Budget Car place where they gave me three wrong cars, I got lost on my way into Boston.

I wanted to shoot myself by the time I got to the hotel.  While I had slept the entire flight, it was by no means restful.

I got the hotel.  "I just wanted to check... I mean, I'm sure it's not ready because it's only 9AM... but.... is my room ready?"

Sophia, the desk attendant told me no.  "But since your room is not available, I can give you a complimentary upgrade to one of our suites.  Would that be okay?"

I nearly kissed her.

My room is bigger than my house.  There is a bathroom in my bathroom.

I took a nap then met up with some wonderful old friends before calling it a night.  Oh, I also walked five miles in the wrong direction to find said friends.

Went to bed with the intention of getting up and running 18 miles.  I kept waking up and thinking, wow, I'm getting such a restful sleep.  It's still dark out.

It was still dark out, because the curtains were closed and it was 12:30 in the afternoon.  I went running, but it was way too hot outside and I kept thinking that my flesh was getting burned by the sun.

I only did 7 miles, so I will have to run 10 in the morning.  Then 10 and 10 next weekend.

It's also strange being in Boston.  I feel like I'm in a story.  Like I've stepped through the television screen.  I'll see things like Copley Square and think, "oh I know this!"  And I don't.  It's just that I lived with so many references on CROSSING JORDAN, that I strangely feel like I'm on a live set.  It's like being in Munchkinland.  Like in Technicolor.  Can't explain it properly.  I just keep seeing images we used in b-roll and establishing shots and I will immediately think, Oh this where that pregnant lesbian died in the bathroom... and then realize, no, that was on the backlot at Universal dummy.  But for some reason, it feels REAL here.

Oh - so I also talked to my manager in the middle of last week.  Turns out, that everyone who had read LITTLE DEATH were the higher ups.  She said that I was fortunately in the position with all my past meetings that I jumped the readers and went straight to the decision makers.  And they all read it immediately, because they consider me a great writer and someone they want to work with.

She said that they all loved my writing, but the story wasn't for them, or they had something like it in development, or something like it in production, or they just didn't "get it."  But they all said, they want to find something to work with me on.  AND - more importantly, these people have now read three scripts in the span of four months, so they can see that I can write good scripts, FAST.

Warner Bros. passed on MERCY.  She sent MERCY to another studio as a writing sample for consideration on television show as a staff writer.  They were all staffed up, but the development head in question wants to see me as soon as I'm back in town.  Turns out THEY are interested in developing MERCY as a series.

Seriously, that script has had more lives than a cat.

It's had to hear, "hang in there."  It's harder to hear, "it's going to happen."  And if I hear one more time, "you just need to be patient," I will cut someone.

At least I'm too busy to think about it.  And it's weird, because right now... this past week... this is the longest I've gone without writing in three years.  Everyone has told me not to for a month.  To take a break.  In the mean time, my head is spinning with ideas.  It's hard not to.  But I do feel so much better.

And the next script is a feature called MEAN.

I need food.  Bad.

16 Miles

I love my running group.  It's like running with a group of comics.  You never mind that you are running for three hours because you spend the entire time laughing.

I did 16 miles today.  I felt tired afterwards.  But then again... I had just run 16 miles.  That and the fact I had about 15 hours sleep all week.

What truly sucks is that I'm in town next week for our 9 mile run, but I'm in Boston the following week for our 18 mile run (so I have to run 18 in Boston).  Then I'm in Chicago for our 10 mile run and then the following week is the Alzheimer's walk, which is our 20 mile run.  So I will have to run 20 in Santa Monica on the Saturday before.  I don't like being away from my group for that long!

We shot in San Francisco from Wednesday to Saturday this past week.  The shoot wasn't nearly as rushed as the last trip, but trying to schedule flights for the big two week shoot in a few weeks is giving me a headache.  I also had to get a blackberry (the phone, not the fruit.)  I love it and hate it.  I love that I don't have to rush home to check my e-mail.  I hate it that my director now texts me all the time. 

Travel wise:  We go from Los Angeles to San Francisco to Boston to New York to Washington DC to Chicago to San Francisco to Los Angeles.  In two weeks.  I live in fear that Lifetime will decide THAT'S when they want to meet with me about LIBERTY.

There IS news about THE LITTLE DEATH... but I'll have to wait until I know what the upshot of the meeting on Friday was.  My manager was on a plane Friday afternoon, so I have no idea what happened.  Which isn't frustrating at all.

Go see the movie MAN ON WIRE.  It's the most inspirational movie I've seen since YOUNG @ HEART.  (It's about the guy who walked a tight rope across the World Trade Center in the 70s.

4 or 5 Miles and a Farewell to Hamburger Mary's

Well, I was supposed to have run 7 miles this morning.  Actually, the training run was 14, but I did that in San Francisco last weekend (with many, many hills). 

I'm way behind on LITTLE DEATH.  I slept in from the Awards Show from last night.  I had breakfast and deleted a bunch of half hour shows on the DVR.  Went and had, what will probably be my last visit to Hamburger Mary's, ever.

I love Mary's because they have free WiFi and you can sit for as long as you want and the waiters don't care.  There are really only two waiters that are any good there, Scott and Jerry.

My waiter today just left.  LEFT.  Like he left.  I sat there and sat there, no refills.  My food came, thanks to one of the dozen runners they have.  But no waiter.  So I asked the host, "um, could you find my waiter" and he informed me "he left."

I've been there where I've sat for a half hour before someone came to get my order.  I've been there where they never bring the check.  But never has the waiter just LEFT.  Like gone.  Like in a car and drove away.

The manager came and got my bill for me, but honestly, at that point, I feel like they should have comped me.

If you don't get Jerry or Scott (or the one of the guy who has been there forever, tall, blond...) you're screwed.

So farewell Hamburger Mary's.  I shall miss you.  But for the past few years the service has sucked.  Perhaps it was because I was drinking and never noticed the difference.  But I don't drink anymore and now I see.

After that, I went to Java Detour to work on revisions.  Then I got changed in my car and went to run 7 miles.

Except my iPod wasn't working.  And I can't run that far with no conversation or music.  So I only ran 4 or 5 miles. 

I'm going to do a lot more running this week.  Last week I only did one maintenance run.

-C

A Very Overdue Thank You!

This is such a very long and very overdue post that I'm embarrassed I forgot to even post it!  I actually wrote it about a month ago, but I wasn't done with it and "drafted" it and forgot to POST it.

I'm so very sorry it has taken me so long to acknowledge the people who have sponsored me.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

I really, really appreciate it.

It pisses me off that when I log into the donation site, it doesn't give me e-mail addresses or addresses so I can send thank yous, so please accept my apologies.

A huge thank you to: Ea Johnsonstevens, Freddy Ritchie, Katie Betts, Catie Boles, Nicole Nohr, Stephanie Bond, Meg Sligar, Nancy Villanueva, Linda Pensa, Chris Bustard, Yvonne Sims, and Linda Hutchinson (and of course, She Who Shall Not Be Named...)

Thanks to your donations I'm about a third of the way there.  I'm giving it my all with training this time around.

Every little bit helps.

CLICK HERE TO DONATE

14 Miles!

I can't believe I ran 14 miles today.  I'm so proud of myself!

This past week was Hell on Earth.  (HOE for short).  Our production schedule was so tight that we didn't have time for any wiggle room.  And I learned I'm a really good producer, but most of the time that makes you very unpopular.  People don't like it when you tell them, "that's it.  You're done."  "I'm sorry you're not finished, but we're into over-time" (Which, really, the crew is on a flat - welcome to the wonderful world of documentary film making - but we don't want to work them OVER time.)

So I spent the week being daddy and slave driver. 

It was what will be our most difficult week.  We are currently not scheduled for more shooting, but that's a whole other story.  I head back to LA on Tuesday morning.  I'm editing a piece Monday with our brilliant AC who happens to be a whiz with Final Cut.

And then I fly out the first plane out so I can be at Fox to hopefully sell LIBERTY PRESERVED to Fox at 4 PM!

Tomorrow is our 7 Mile training run at the site in LA.  But since I missed the 12 mile, I decided to suck it up and just do 14.  From my hotel, out and over the Golden Gate Bridge, and back is 14 miles.

I forgot about all the freaking hills in SF.  I'm not sure HOW I forgot about the hills, but I did.  I'm sore, but walking.  My face is windburned.  But my hair looks great!

I was more impressed that I was able to pace myself the entire 14 miles.  Other than a few bikes and small children wandering into my path, it was fairly non-violent as well.

And the weather was PERFECT.  I love that I can run for 14 miles at 1PM and not worry about the heat.  I love San Francisco's weather.  Though it did make for interesting looks from people - me dressed in a tank and shorts and them bundled up as if they were in the dead of winter in Alaska.

I came back to the hotel and had two chicken breasts and vegetables while passing out in my food and watching some special on THE HILLS.  I woke up, got dressed and took the MUNI into the Castro where I had a bacon cheeseburger and salad.  And then a peanut butter (which I always rationalize in my head that it's protein...) and chocolate chip cookie.

I'm now in my room and trying to do revisions on LITTLE DEATH.  I'm so behind it's not even funny.

10 Miles

WE KILLED IT!!

I have the best training group of all five marathons.  We have completely different lives and yet we're all cheerful and enjoy each other's company.  And when the ten miles was done, we could have gone another ten.

I discovered Powerade electrolyte powder, which I've never used before.  It helped.  And the Powerade Vanilla "goo" takes like a cupcake. 

I tried out my new shoes today too.  Ryan and I went and grabbed brunch at Paty's after the run.  Then I took an amazing two hour nap.

I think all the running I'm doing during the week really helps.  We are expected to run twice for a half hour (and that's all that is expected) as maintenance runs.  Long runs on the weekend.  But I've been running about six miles three times a week.

I apparently have run past people who tried to get my attention (Nic, Todd...) and when I'm running, I don't see anyone.  So if I ever pass you, I'm not ignoring you.  Or maybe I am.  You'll never know.

I'm off to bed.  This is going to be a big, big, big week.

6 Miles

My alarm clock went off this morning and I was so confused.  I had only slept for four hours and the sun was up.  I felt like I had overslept. 

Had breakfast, got to the park.  Did six miles.  It was hot by the end of the run, but somehow the temp dropped later in the afternoon.

The good news for me temporarily is that I'm now a coordinating producer.  I'm helping to produce a documentary on a drug.  Don't ask me what it's about, because I have no idea.  It's like being asked to write a script on ancient Sanskrit.  I have got so much research to do in the next three weeks it's not even funny.  The production office is in Santa Monica which is going to be a hike every single day, but the money is good.  But it's right around the corner from Ryan.

I also tried to sell Christine today (the bike).  I took her to the home of a very nice guy and he's checking out more bikes before he decides.  As I loaded her back up, I felt like screaming at like I was a pimp, "what's the matter with you!?  You were supposed to be pretty!   But no!  You're just a dirty bike.  A dirty, dirty bike!"

I'm hoping someone buys her soon.

I call the picture above "Ryan Hypnotized By Pen."

Thank You!

A big thank you to Lisa Fine for her donation to the AIDS Marathon!!  If everyone donated just ten bucks (that's two venti frapps at Starbucks... which, really, no one needs all those calories!), I'd be done with my goal of $4,000 in a week!

CLICK HERE TO DONATE!

5 Miles

This is now the third time I've tried to post this... damn you Typepad.  I don't know why they can't just leave the program alone without trying to change everything.  It keeps locking up when I run spell check.  It never did it on the older version.

SO.

Today was five miles.  I was the pace group leader and for some reason I ran us in five minutes too fast.  I have no idea why I'm running so fast this time around.

Went to see FINDING AMANDA and it just dreadful.  So don't bother.

And my nightmare from a few months ago finally aired. You may remember that back in February I interviewed to be the assistant to a celebrity.

That celebrity was COREY HAIM.  The show was THE TWO COREYS.

I have been living in fear that I was going to make it on the show.  Fortunately, I was cut out.  On the show, it shows Corey calling the potential candidates and he says, "yeah, this person looks good."  Bull crap.  We had no idea who we were meeting and the producer called us.  If I had known it was for Corey Haim, I would have stayed in bed.

They wanted our reactions to be real.  I'm not sure how they wanted us to react.  Did they expect us to be excited?  Or did they expect us to walk in and see faces drop and say, "oh it's you.  The kid from THE LOST BOYS." 

By the time we got up to the house, I figured it was one of the two of them.  I was the only one who thought it was Feldman, and I considered that if I walked in and saw that it was Haim, I was going to say "oh hell no" and turn around and walk out.  We were trapped at that point.  A van took us up there.

I just... I can't imagine what twist of fate my life would have to take in order for me to be the assistant to Corey Haim.  I would consider moving to Vegas and working as a stripper before I would do that.

Haim was nice enough, but he didn't ask me any questions.  And he couldn't ask me about the shows or people I had worked with ON CAMERA.  So it was a pointless interview.  And he asked me if I was capable of speaking.  I felt foolish.  And I've lived in fear since that I was going to end up looking like a fool on the show.

-C

ps.  The bald guy was a FREAK.  We all thought he was a vampire.