12 of 12 IV: June 2009 - Me
9:00 AM? ECT/ 6:00 AM? PCT
Parent's Van, Dunwoody, GA
At this point, I've had two hours sleep. Spent the evening with my friends at Dad's Garage Theatre. Went home, packed, tried to go to sleep and woke up at 5:00 AM ECT (2:00 AM PCT) to get ready and go with my parent's for a doctor's visit.
9:30 ECT? / 6:30 PCT
MARTA Station
On my way to the airport.
11:00 AM ECT / 8:00 PCT
US Airways D Concourse
And so began the day of Hell. Arrive at the gate. I think there were thirty seats in the waiting area and 20,000 people. Half the seats were holding people's personal items. One woman sighed and said, "do you want to sit?" while still snarling at me. I smiled and said, "I'm fine. I wouldn't want you to have to hold your newspaper and jacket."
The seat I picked on-line was 26F - the back corner because no one would be behind me and no one would make me move to go to the bathroom. They called out over the speaker, "I need two people from row 26 to come to the desk."
As I stepped up, this child lunged in front of me and slammed her arms across the desk. "I'm in row 26!" Her older sister stepped up and the attendant informed them they had just been upgraded to first class. After he processed their ticket, I asked him if he still needed anyone and he said "no."
Ten minutes later, "Darnell, Chad Darnell, please come to the counter." Hooray, I thought.
"Mr. Darnell, we need to reseat you for security reasons." The man standing next to me had paperwork and I saw the flash of a badge from his belt. My seat was being taken for prisoner transport by a US Marshal.
And I was being reassigned to a middle seat.
I HATE this middle, because people hog the arm rests. I REALLY HATE the aisle, because people constantly bump you throughout the entire flight.
Over the course of a half hour, I am re-sat four more times, eventually getting the aisle.
Because I was called one last time while they were boarding, there was no room in the overhead compartments. So they "checked" my bag. I thought as I handed it off, that would mean I would get it from a flight attendant. NO. I meant UNDER THE AIRPLANE.
Keep in mind it takes LAX about an hour for baggage to come out. I didn't take bags FOR THIS REASON.
Also keep in mind, the entire reason I was due back in LA was to do the VIP Pride event that evening. A car was picking me up at 7:15. My flight was due to land at 3:45. I had a layover in Phoenix for an hour and a half.
SO. I'm PISSED my bagged is now being checked, because it means I'm going to have to wait an hour, which will put me in the middle of LA Friday traffic.
On the plane, I fall asleep before the preflight take off.
I wake up a half hour later to the captain informing us, we have to go back and get more gas. I look out the window and see, WE HAVEN'T TAKEN OFF. He informs us we are being rerouted due to weather and we will now be arriving in Phoenix shortly after the time my connecting flight will be taking off.
At this point, I e-mail the church (the church was being honored at Pride) and inform them I may not make the event and they need to come up with a Plan B.
I then, spend the next four hours trying not to have a stroke.
2:00 PM CST / 12:00 PM PCT
Somewhere High Above America
I decide I need to drink, since I can't sleep, thanks to every single person slamming into me. Oh, and the child in the next row over started screaming.
1:35 PM MST / 12:35 PCT
Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport - A Concourse
We land. We have exactly FIVE minutes before the plane to LA takes off. While I realize my bag won't make it, at least I can. As soon as we got off, I see that the gate for LAX is A-1.
I am at A-26 - which is not only at the complete opposite end of the airport, but I swear it's a half mile run.
And I run. Like the wind. Like a bandit. Like a demon. This picture is actually an action shot. There are other LA people running as well, but I'm in front of everyone.
I arrive (the first person from the flight) at A-1 to the gate attendant on the speaker saying, "if you are going to LA, again, the gate has been moved to A-26."
It was at this point, I hit the desk with both fists and screamed bloody murder, "YOU GOTTA BE F*CKING KIDDING ME!" After this entire day, I was ready to throw my body out the glass window.
My LA track team piled up behind me and I screamed, "THEY F*CKING MOVED THE F*CKING GATE TO RIGHT NEXT TO WHERE WE WERE!!"
So we go running again. It was like the storming of Normandy. I thought there was no way we would make the flight.
But surprise, surprise... the flight had been moved to 2:15.
This would mean a) I would make the flight. b) I can go back to the Starbucks I passed twice. c) I can call the church and tell them I'll make the event. d) I will arrive around 4:00 PM in LA. e) IF my bag makes it, it will arrive about 5:00 PM at baggage. f) by the time I get to my car, get on the road and fight traffic to make it home, I'll be lucky if I have the time to shower.
3:30 PCT
Above Los Angeles
Making our final decent.
4:00 PM
LAX
And we wait. My bag DID arrive about 45 minutes later and it was the last one to come out. I wanted to scream.
I ran outside to see the bus for B-Lot pull away. It took 25 minutes for the next one to arrive. I contemplate jumping in front a car.
5:20 PM
B-Lot
I lost my car. If I'm lying, I'm dying. I spent ten minutes trying to find it.
6:00 PM
110 NORTH
Dear Atlanta: THIS is what traffic looks like. When you don't move for five minutes.
6:45 PM
My House
Miracles, upon miracles. I made it home. All I can think is "I'm going to fall asleep standing up."
8:30 PM
VIP Pride Event
The car picked me up at 7:15 and then we picked up Pauley. It took us about a half hour to
This is Pauley with Chris Angel Murphy, one of the other honorees.
1:30 AM
Outside Fiesta
After we left, we ran into some of Pauley's friends at the Abbey and then we walked over to Fiesta, where we apparently spent four hours talking to people. I realized when we arrived at Fiesta, I had left my ID in my pants (from running around at the airport) and in order to get me in, Pauley took my credit card with my picture and her iPhone, pulled up my IMDB page and said, "look, he cast this in 1992!" The bouncer said, "that would make you 17, man. Don't even try." To which I said, "yeah. If I started casting WHEN I WAS A FETUS."
He let us in.
It was the day from hell, but one of the best nights I've ever had in LA.
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